Sunday, 5 August 2012

8 years 7 months 26 days ...

Eyes closing slowly...
Hearing my college teachers voice announcing hall ticket...
Surya..Roll No:327 ,Hall No.65..
Yes,my name is Surya..I hear it this way now..
Surya   ..age:22   Chest No:327  & Cell No:65..
Sitting on a bench along with other outlaws..eyes closed ...tears running down and praying God to wake me up from sleep to realize that it's a nightmare..Since it's really hot,one may find it difficult to understand tears and sweat running over my face.
Got a new dress,with my chest number on it..The constable PC 276 asks me to strip infront of him..
"Bastard Remove your clothes off !! Do you have something else that others don't have,mother fucker !! "
From my school days,I had a habit to slap the opponent who ever abuses my parents,when it came to high school and college,my attitude was to blow there head off,if any one abuses me.
Now,when I hear the swearing from constable..SILENCE...CALM...that was my attitude..may be those weren't the things running in my mind during that.They made a thorough check all over my body.I did hear giggles from other policemen.They made me open up my back as the last process of checking..Heard from the jail superintendent that my cell is in the new block.
Now,walking to my block with my hands tied backwards using handcuffs..,between two huge wall..
Could feel the smell of that very hot concrete's a very narrow way ...feeling the heat on my bare foot...Its being a little difficult to breathe between those two wall..Its very hot and I feel hot air sucked into my nose and feeling so thirsty...Sweating like hell and I had no way other than to lick my sweat to make my tongue wet...

At home I never sat without AC..I remembered shouting at my mom for switching my Ac off at night midway of my sleep.I always loved sleeping with my blankets on and my knees pulled up hugging a pillow...
Reached my cell,there are 3 other persons in that cell..A jug of water and a small closet were at each corners..The floor was entirely filled with dust and the cell was burning hot..

Sitting on that dusty cement floor,I remembered shouting at my mom,seeing an ant on my bed..
In between I kept on lifting my back every 10-15 seconds because it was so hot.After some time,they brought bread for all...Seeing the condition of that plate,I felt like vomiting..
I used to shout at my mom if I see the plates infront of me is wet..Here its absolutely dry,but never cleaned..And I'm a person who never drinks from a tumbler used by others..
Seems like I'm gonna have a serious change in my hi-fi habits..
Two days I had nothing...couldn't even sleep on that hot cement floor and never uttered a single word to my cell mates.On the 3rd day they came to me and said "this is a fact and you have to go through this..How long are you going to stay without food ??.."
My eyes got filled with tears...and I said "I just want to end my life !! 12 years of imprisonment..My life is over "
Musthafa (61)

When I talked to him and came to know about his story,I understood one thing that my life isn't even 10% worst when compared to them.
Musthafa have been in this jail for the past 32 years...He burnt 7men alive who killed his sister..During that period the ruler ordered a very interesting verdict..
"If anyone of those 7 men comes back,he would be freed that day"
My talks with that person really changed my life.May be it's God who sent me here for the best of my life..
When I walked in through the gate of this prison I was :a college dropout,broke my parents hearts,brought disgrace to them,and with a mind in the state "Life is Over"..

Musthafa's these words were like those from God's mouth..And that's the reason that made me eager to live more..
"Life isn't over for are just 22 year old..Trust me,when you are out of this prison at the age of 32 you may realize that you have hardly lost some things..This is the best course of your life,but unfortunately the duration is a little bit more.I have seen more life than you..When I got into this jail,your parents must have been in their teenage.Looking at your eyes I can say that you are regretting your past and you are looking for a chance..I will help you getting that chance !!
Will you study if you get a second chance ?? Not after getting out from the prison,study in the prison.I will set things up for you here.Learn whatever you want to learn in this 10 years and get out from this prison like a man gearing up for the next level.You may be thinking "how?" ..There are no policemen here who doesn't know me,there are even kids of former policemen who took up their dad's job.I can set this up for you,just tell me a course you want to learn apart from those requires training...You are a loser to society right now,don't you want to change it ??"

Musthafa was put initially in a cell alone for 2 years..It was designed in such a way that he wouldn't see anyone or any sunlight.2 years of complete darkness,silence and loneliness.
Musthafa stood with me for everything as a friend and as a teacher,as a parent..
After 4 years 6 months I got my Degree Certificate with Rank..That day it wasn't a jail for any of us.All the policemen,superiors and other friends poured in their wishes and arranged a small party too in superintendent's office.Good food,good water,cold drinks..It was not only my friends eyes mine too got filled with tears.Superintendent asked me to do my Masters degree too and did all arrangements for it.He sponsored me all the books..Musthafa was very happy seeing my smile.
Musthafa wasn't doing good with his health by then..he is getting older.

Musthafa was always there in inspiring me,taught me to listen well even to kids..Police friends taught me "Psychology of telling lies" and that was the main fun we had there..Within 10 seconds we would be able to catch a lie.Terrific it is !! After I got rank in my Degree,Court reduced my punishment to 8 and half years..but on a condition that I must complete my masters within this period.
Now,Superintendent came running to show my pic in news paper !! It read "Golden Star in Prison ranks No.1 in Masters Degree !!" Musthafa came in and hugged me and said "Sanjay I feel Goosebumps all over my body" You have done it !! You have done it !! See the news paper "they are praising you as a Golden Star and a role model for others !!!"A job is ready for me,as a gift from the government.
Musthafa is actually the Golden Star,he is the one who brought everything out of me.He not only changed me but my life too..
Tomorrow is my last day in this prison,I should no more say it's a Prison.This is the place that changed my life to a positive note.Musthafa is the one I'm gonna miss the most..he isn't well with his health too..
Standing out infront of this Prison Gate today...I'm a double Degree holder !! A job in hand worth USD 2500 $ ! Yes,I'm never a Loser... Musthafa you are really my God !!

During this 8 years 7 months and 26 days..I saw a lot of them..Many friends left in between to God and some must be living happily now.It was great pain to watch our friends walking out at morning to the execution room.They would be like a dead rubber.Last 2-3 days before hanging,they would have started to die mentally..
There are parents who scold their children when they flunk a year in schools or colleges.If we think wisely it's never a loss at all.There are instances where people pass out successfully but have to wait for 2 years to get a job,may be more.Never disappoint them telling their loss or never mark them down as a loser.It's only when we loose,we would challenge ourselves and take a better leap."Failures are the stepping stone to success" This we happily forgets each time..
Motivation and Inspiration works big time on Losers,what they just wanted would be a supporter.
If I could do this from Prison,I think other than death ,nothing can fail you..
Prison  made me a double degree holder,a mentally strong man,fearless and an architect of life..

Best Wishes to all..
Sanjay Rathore. 

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